first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes....

Perhaps one of the biggest differences God has shown me between dating and marriage in the last seven months is that, while dating tends to bring out the best in us, marriage has the potential to bring out the worst. Don't get me wrong, this isn't always the case, but if you want to dredge up stuff you thought you had settled with God a long time ago, get married. I'm not talking about things that happened in the past, because I think Jamie and I talked exhaustively about those during our courtship and engagement (except maybe about the fact that I once interviewed to be the Mountaineer mascot, a fact that I only remembered about myself a couple weeks ago). Instead, these are things that when I lived on my own I was able to conceal from others and "control" for the most part. Things like: selfishness, a bad temper, stubborness...the list could go on I'm sure. To be honest, these things surface much more than I would like these days.

I don't want to paint marriage in a bad light (especially for all those who aren't married that I just scared off) because it is wonderful but I think the point is that God's purpose for marriage is very different from that of the world. I've heard it said a million times, but have found it to be true and so practical: "God's plan for marriage is holiness, not happiness." And as part of the work to make us holy, God uses the context of marriage to bring out our selfish desires and actions. He shows us that no matter how much we think we have it all figured out and no matter how good we look to those on the outside, we aren't as holy as we think we are. I am encouraged that as I work on these issues that come up in my marriage relationship, God is working to perfect the most important relationship I've ever had -- the one I have with Him. So here's to allowing marriage to make me more holy AND more happy. :)