1/3 life crisis

This morning I found myself in the midst of a full blown "1/3 life crisis" (that's what I'm calling the meltdown that happens between a quarter life crisis and a mid-life crisis).  I won't go into all the details, but the question it left me with was this: As Christians, how much grace do we have for lifestyles that don't look like our own?

Now I'm not talking about people living sinful lifestyles - grace vs. accountability in that situation is another topic for another day.  My question is how we look at and treat other Christians whose choices don't line up with our own decisions or expectations.  Choices like singleness vs. marriage, whether to have kids and how many to have, women working or staying at home, homeschooling vs. public school, etc (the list could go on and on).  Often we turn our own ideas of what life should be into a mandate for others.  We turn into the Pharisees.  We make up our own additions to God's commands and require that others live up to them.  We may not blatantly judge and disgrace others like the Pharisees did but in our own way we treat them differently enough to know they don't fit in with the "Christian expectation."

One of the most beautiful things about our Savior is how He could relate to people in every stage of life and make them feel special and loved.  I pray that I have the same grace for others, although I know that I am by no means perfect.   I just hope I'm never the impetus for someone else's "1/3 life crisis."

balancing act

Lately I have been thinking a lot about grace and its dispensation. More specifically, I have struggled with the balance of grace and accountability. How do I encourage my brothers and sisters in their walk with Christ and keep them accountable to that while still displaying the grace that has been so freely given to me? How do I keep others accountable for things that I have messed up on in the past without being hypocritical, legalistic, judgmental? Less it sound differently, I do believe this can and should be done but in my humanness I find it a constant struggle that I probably mess up more than I get right.

This balancing act is one of the things that makes living in community so difficult. Inevitably you are dealing with a group of people that are not in the same place spiritually and it is often difficult to know how to deal with individuals in the place where they are instead of treating everyone the same or assuming everyone is at the same place spiritually as you are. As the pastor from my home church likes to say, "Sameness isn't fairness," and he's right. While it might seem fair and equal to treat everyone the same, it's not the way Jesus treats us and not the example given to us from the Bible. In 1 Thessalonians 5:14, Paul says, "And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone." He urges us to treat people differently based on they place they are in. If they are lazy they should be warned, if they are timid they should be encouraged, if they are weak, they need help. When we warn the weak or encourage the idle, we do them a disservice, which is why the same approach cannot work for every person. "Sameness isn't fairness."

But the part of that verse that I have the hardest time with is "be patient with everyone." Ahhh, back to the balancing act. I will admit, I struggle with being patient with those who are less spiritually mature or who are immature in general. Not that I have it all figured out by any means, but I find myself getting impatient with those who I feel should "know better." I rarely stop to question whether they do know better or examine whether instead of being idle they are perhaps timid or weak...I jump right on the "warn" bandwagon. My prayer is that as I navigate through the balancing act of grace versus action, God will give me eyes to better discern individual needs and patience with the timid, the weak, AND the idle.